Happy Birth/Abandonment Day

 Have you ever lost something? My youngest daughter loses her phone all the time. Its never really "lost", just misplaced. I notice that how quickly she finds her phone depends on the urgency of her need with her phone. Sometimes it will go missing for days and when she decides she wants to text a friend or something she starts to look for it and its usually in plain site. My oldest daughter on the other hand reacts quite differently when she notices her cell phone out of her sight. It usually starts with a look of pure panic on her face as she feels her pockets and looks around her. Once she has established the phone is "lost" the whole world freezes until the phone is found, which is usually a few seconds since her phone is always by her side. lol
There is a difference between misplacing your cell phone and actually losing something. I remember a few years back I lost my dog. When I was about 11 years old I got a little winnie dog and I named him Yoshi. He was MY dog. When I got married and moved out I took him with me. I still had him through the birth of two of my children. He was our beloved family dog. I knew he was getting old and worried that he would pass soon. On halloween of 2005 Yoshi disappeared. We were heart broken. We looked everywhere for him. We printed out flyers and handed them out while we were trick or treating. I called the local shelter. I did everything I knew to do to find him. We looked for days. Days turned into weeks and we were still looking. Weeks turned into months and we came to terms that we probably weren't going to find Yoshi. How long can you really look for something you lost?
Maybe the answer to that question can be seen in my daughters and their "lost" cell phones. To Haley her phone is important to her. Its her form of communication and as an active teenage girl she needs to communicate with friends, teacher,coaches and her parents. When I asked her why her phone is important to her she said "it's my communication to the world and without it I feel like a piece of me is missing!"She is extreme, I know, lol. Emily on the other hand usually just plays games on her phone. She has filled the memory with pics so she can't use the camera unless she deletes the pics. She only texts a few friends and that is rarely. Her phone is of little importance to her. She is much more concerned about her stuffed unicorn, Fluffy. Maybe the length of how long you look for what you have lost depends on the importance of the missing object to the person who is trying to locate it.

36 years ago today I lost something and I am still looking for it. On June 12, 1978  I was born in an unknown location that was approximately somewhere within 3 hours of the Tulsa County Fairgrounds. I don't know who gave birth to me, who delivered, or the time of my birth. I know that my umbilical cord was tied with a twisty tie from a bread sack. I also know that there must have been complications at birth because I have been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, which is caused by lack of oxygen at birth. I was left in a phone booth at the Tulsa State Fairgrounds within a few hours after my birth. I got the privilege of chatting with one of the officers who found me. He told me that he was working a stake out that day close to the fairgrounds when he got the call that there was a baby at the fairgrounds. He said  they turned on the sirens and got to me in less than 5 minutes. From there I was taken to the hospital. The doctors said I appeared to be 4 hours old and in good health.

I don't know how long I was in the hospital or what happened when  I was there. I do know that the Tulsa County Sheriff's department was investigating. The PD named me Maybelle. They said it was fitting since I was found in a Ma Belle telephone booth.  An anonymous source called the PD and told them that I was stolen from my ailing mother.

. The newspapers also said that a woman called the PD and the hospital numerous times asking about my condition and said "take care of my baby, take care of my baby.

After the anonymous caller told the police  I was taken from my mother the PD released that they would not press chargers against her if she came forward. An investigator told the Tulsa World that he felt confident the mother would come forward. But she never did. 

I don't know how long I was in the hospital or where I went after I was released. I have been told that I was in foster care for 6 months. I don't know who I lived with or how many families had me before I was adopted at 6 months. 

These newspaper articles are the only pictures that I have of myself before 6 months of age. These newspaper articles are also the only thing that I have to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I would love to be able to get the reports of the investigation from the Tulsa County Sheriff's office, but it's not that easy. 

There are so many things that I don't know about that day 36 years ago. I am praying that someday I find the answers that I seek. Over the past few months I thought  I was getting close and for a short time I thought I had finally found what I was looking for. All roads have led to dead ends and I am not sure if  I will ever find my biological family. 

I know that someone knows what happened that day. A young man called the Tulsa County Sheriff's department as an anonymous source and gave them information about me. I really thought that if my story was shared enough someone with information that could help me would come forward. That has not happened yet. 

I sit here 36 years later in the same town  I was abandoned in. I think this is my first birthday I have spent in this town. I am going to ask everyone who reads this to please share it. Share it everywhere you can. Everytime its shared there is a chance my biological mother/family member will see it. What a wonderful birthday present it would be if my biological mother would see this today of all days. 

Thank you so much to everyone for your support over the past few months. You all have helped me so much! I have no new news to report. I haven't heard anything from Troy Dunn and no new leads came from the news report.  I still remain hopeful. I know it is all in God's timing.  How long do I keep looking?  I will keep looking for as long as it takes. Like my oldest daughter Haley said about her cell phone, " I feel like there is a piece of me missing." No time can be put on this for me. I will keep looking.  Can you imagine still looking for the same thing for 36 years? 

Psalms 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when  Iwas made in that secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your boo before one came to be.

God wrote the story of my life before any of it came to be. I am praying chapter 36 answers a lot of questions from the past chapters. 

A Night at the Softball Field

I have been extremely busy since Spring Break. I have spent most of my nights, usually at least 4 nights a week at the softball fields. I have been blessed that most nights Emily and Katey play at the same place back to back. Its the little things like that I am so thankful for. Emily decided she wanted to play softball this year. She is 9 years old and never played ball, but this year she wanted to. So she started with coach pitch softball. She has a really good coach and they have won most their games. The coaches wife keeps the score book for the team and almost every game I sit a few people down from her if not next to her.
Tonight we started talking about our mutual love of Florida. We talked for quite a while about it. She made a comment about her sister and brother in law living in Florida. She said her brother in law has his own reality show and helps people find missing people!! My heart sunk when I heard this. I honestly thought I was hearing wrong. My husband asked her who her brother in law was and she answered "Troy Dunn."  I could not even believe it. I sat their in shock and laughing to myself. I sat here for weeks trying to get my story to Troy Dunn and his sister in law was sitting next to me  4 nights a week. I told her how I sat right here next to her and read Troy's book on my kindle. I told her my story. She gave me her email and I emailed her the link to this blog. We visited about it a little more and then she text her sister and told her she had an interesting story for her.
I have been told for months that I needed to get my story to Troy Dunn and now my story will get to him. It is no secret that I am not a big fan of living in this tiny little country town I live in. No offense to it, but I grew up in a small town and really loved it when I moved to a bigger city. I am tired of small town. I often wonder why we are here. It is not more convenient to work or really have any thing to offer us that we didn't already have before we moved here. I often wonder what God's plan is for us here.
As I sat at the softball game tonight I realized that I am in this town  for a reason. I don't know very many people in this town, but of the very few I know one is Troy Dunn's sister in law. I don't know what he will think of my story or if he will even think he will be able to help me. I know he gets thousands of requests a day and I really doubted if he would ever hear mine. I am so thankful for this connection that I made from my baby girl wanting to play softball. It reminded me that God is working in our favor when we don't even see  the result of it yet. All this time I have been so negative about living here and God was just paving the way for me to this divine connection. I am so thankful. Even if nothing comes of it, at least I know he heard my story.

I want to thank everyone who viewed and shared the story that Lori Fullbright did Friday night on News 6. If you missed it you can see it at www.newson6.com  I will upload the video to my blog once I get a copy.
I showed up at the park on Friday morning and I was nervous. I tried to hide it. I struggle with not knowing what she is going to ask and also talking about something so personal for everyone to see. I tell myself to stick to the facts and not so much emotion. Once Lori showed up I forgot everything I was nervous about. She is such an awesome lady. I really felt like I was just visiting with a friend.
 I wasn't nervous and forgot about the camera. I am very pleased with the story Lori Fullbright did. I am thankful for another divine connection. An amazing lady that has helped me with a few things on this journey is a friend of Lori's and she shared my story with Lori. I have been so blessed to meet so many nice people along this journey.

Thank you to everyone that has shared my story in any way. I believe it is from these shares that I am getting connections that could possibly lead me closer in my search. Please keep sharing. I believe that with every share I am a step closer to the end of my journey. I am going to sleep smiling tonight knowing that even when I don't see it God is in control and working in my favor.

Tulsa News 6 at 6pm tonight

My interview with Lori Fullbright today went great. She is such an awesome person. I'm so honored that she took time out of her day to talk with me about my story. I'll post the story here after it airs. If you can tune in tonight at 6pm to Tulsa channel 6. I'm excited to see what she puts together.  You can watch at newson6.com
 http://www.newson6.com/story/25540947/green-country-abandoned-in-phone-booth-at-birth-looking-for-parents

Troy Dunn, Ancestry DNA, Mother's Day, News 6

 Softball games, cheer practices, and all the end of the school year activities have occupied most of my time the last few weeks. During all this I have had a lot of things happen with my search. I apologize for not blogging sooner.

Two weeks ago I saw a post on Troy Dunn's Facebook. He had helped a young man reunite with his family. Troy Dunn said that he received hundreds of emails asking him to help this man. I shared the video on my Facebook page. I also shared my story on Troy's Facebook page. I downloaded his book "Its never too Late: Lessons for life from the Locator" onto my kindle and read the whole thing in less than 24 hours. It was an amazing book for someone searching for a loved one. At the end of the book is a list of resources. I wanted to search all the resources, and that led me to the Locator's Club.
The locators Club  is a website ran by Troy Dunn and his staff.  I set up a profile and watched the getting started video. I was really excited with all the information I was getting. I noticed under the getting started video people left their story in the comments and Troy or a staff member responded. It appears that his staff is helping people in their search through this website. I immediately shared my story. I haven't received any response from them yet. I shared my story on that site and on Troy Dunn's Facebook page.  He gets thousands of requests a day so I know it is a long shot but hopefully he sees my story and wants to help.

I also watched his first quick start video. He gave me things to work on and I am excited to get started. I am hoping these steps get me closer in my search. There seem to be a lot of information on the Locators Club site and  I can't wait to read through it all.
When I first posted that picture on Facebook in March I met some amazing girls. It all started with their cousin who saw my post and thought it was her cousin. She shared the post for her cousins to see and messaged me. The resemblance between these two sisters and  I was remarkable. After chatting with them we thought there may be a chance that we could have the same father. I originally talked to DNA services of Oklahoma about doing a sibling DNA test with one of the sisters. That night was when a woman posing as my mother told me she was my mother. I changed the test from a sibling test to a maternity test and tested with the woman. It was not a match. After I found out she was lying to me the whole time we decided that one of the sisters could go ahead and test through ancestry. The results are longer to get, but the price is more manageable. Unfortunately we are not a match either. I was really disappointed. These are two amazing women with beautiful families. They were so open to welcome me in and I felt like they actually wanted me to be their sister. I called ancestry and told them my situation. I asked if their test would match half siblings and he said yes. One thing I have learned is that just because you have a strong resemblance to someone doesn't mean you are related :(.

 I have contacted my closest matches ( 3rd-4th cousins). Some have messaged back. Everyone is intrigued with my story and willing to help, but nobody knows anything. We don't even know how we are related. I have been considering doing the 23andme.com DNA test to see who I match there.
This past weekend, Mother's Day weekend, was when I was suppose to meet the woman who was posing as my biological mother. We were in the process of planning a trip to Ohio when she dropped the bomb on me that she had been lying. I celebrated my 36th Mother's Day still not knowing who my biological mother is. I believe that you can't understand what that's like unless you experience it. Despite this my children gave me an awesome Mother's Day. My youngest gave me tons of gifts she made for me at school. My middle daughter and her best friend cooked breakfast for me and then brownies. She also gave me a gift card to iTunes. My oldest gave me a gift on Facebook. I was completely shocked.

I love this so much. She is an aspiring singer/songwriter. My kids made my day special. I am so thankful for them. They inspire me everyday. Having three daughters really  increased my desire to find my biological family, but they are also a reminder that if my search never comes to an end I will be ok. 

During this search I met a wonderful search angel who has helped me whenever I needed anything. She is an amazing lady that lives in Tulsa. She contacted Lori Fullbright from News 6 in Tulsa. I have an interview tomorrow with her. I am so excited and nervous. This is another change for me to get my story out there. It will air in Tulsa, the town I was born and abandoned in. I will let everyone know as soon as I know the air date and time. 

Thank you to everyone who continues to share my story, pray for me, and send me words of encouragement. I have wanted to give up plenty of times in the past 6 weeks. Your encouragement inspires me to keep moving forward. 

Ancestry DNA Results

This journey since I posted that Picture to Facebook on March 28 has been crazy. I have really been battling with myself if I even wanted to keep searching. Everything that happened with the woman who falsely claimed to be my biological mother was a nightmare. It really made me question if I really do want to know the answers to my questions. Every time I feel like giving up something happens to keep me going.
I wasn't expecting my ancestry results for another 4 weeks. I have been checking the website every few days to see the progress on the test. I was expecting to receive an email when the results were ready to view. Yesterday I logged in and clicked the DNA tab expecting it to say processing. I was completely shocked when I was this:

First I looked at the ethnicity. There was so much more information than I had expected. I was so excited! My main ethnicity is Spanish followed by French, Italian and Irish. Ancestry maps the area your ethnicity is from. 

I thought this was really cool. The map gets even more detailed when you click on each ethnicity. It is very interesting and a lot of fun to learn about. Even my kids got excited seeing all this. For everyone who guessed I was Native American, I only have 2% Native American. 

I am really excited about learning more on ancestry and researching my ethnicity. I know to some people it may not seem like a big deal, but to me this is HUGE!! 

Next I looked at the DNA matches. At first look I thought there was 61 matches. I couldn't believe it. I was hoping for 1 match. At closer look I relized it was 61 pages of matches!! WOW!! I was completely shocked. 

It matched me to 2 people that are 3rd cousins, 13 people that are 4th cousins. The rest are distant cousins. At first I was overwhelmed and didn't really know where to start. I just started clicking on the names and getting familiar with the site. I mainly focused on the 15 people that are 3rd and 4th cousins. I was on the site all day researching. I did link 3 people back to how they are connected to each other which means they would be on the same side of the family. It is really interesting and fun to research. 

Last night one of the woman that I was matched to as a distant cousin (5th-8th cousin) messaged me on ancestry. I was so excited. She told me she looked at my profile, which explained my story, and she had to write me. It was awesome. 

Today I messaged the 15 people that are 3rd and 4th cousins. I already had one reply and she said she wants to help me figure out how we are related. 

I am so glad I did the ancestry DNA test. Finding out my ethnicity was something I always wanted. The match to cousins has been an amazing bonus.  I still have a long way to go to actually finding my biological parents, but I am closer than I have ever been.  I will keep you posted as I find out more.

Please keep sharing my story. Every time its shared there is a chance a person with the right information will see it. That is still my best chance. Thank you so much to everyone for sharing and the support that you have show me. It means more to me than you could ever know!!

Moving Forward

I have had a couple of days to really think about everything that has happened since I first posted that picture to Facebook on March 28. The past few weeks have had many ups and downs. I have met some pretty awesome people and one not so awesome person. The response has been more than I ever expected. I have seriously thought about deleting the picture and stopping the search all together.
The first few days after i posted that picture to Facebook were amazing. I had many people messaging me with encouraging words and prayers. I have had a couple of people do small things that have helped me in huge ways. I never imagined that I would have so many supporting me in this.
After a couple of good leads I thought I may have found some sisters from my fathers side. We were ready to get a DNA test. I was so excited.
Then I got the message that someone thought they knew who my biological mom was. This person filled me in on what she knew. I followed through with the lead. I contacted who I thought could be my biological mother. She denied it at first, but then told me that she was my biological mom. She told me that she put me in that phone booth. She kept changing the story of who my biological father was. Finally she told me that she was raped by her father and that I was conceived from that. It never really made since to me, because she told me that he started selling her for sex when she was 9 years old. So to me that meant that my father could have been anyone, but she said she was sure that it was her dad. She told me over and over how bad things were for her when she was pregnant with me. She told me she was alone and scared when she had me. She said she took me to the phone booth to protect me from her dad. She said she was afraid what he would do to me. She made me believe that she saved my life.  I was very thankful.
It was extremely hard for me to deal with everything she told me. Going into this search I was eager to find out the circumstances behind my abandonment. I am not so eager now. I knew the circumstances were probably not good, but i never could have imagined the things she told me It was so hard to accept that I came from such horrible people and circumstances.
My husband convinced me to wait until I got the DNA test back before I accept what she said about who my father was. so after a long 24 hours I decided to put all that to the side and take one step at a time. I decided to first confirm that she was truly who she claimed to be.
Words can not express what I felt. I told my husband that  I wished that I had never searched. I wanted to unknown what I knew. I thought not knowing is better than knowing this. It was a really hard time for me. I am so thankful to my husband for being my rock in this time.
I visited with my alleged biological mom for about a week. Everything was going good. She rescheduled her first DNA test, but went to the 2nd appointment. Even though I always had a little doubt that she was who she claimed to be, once she took the DNA test I figured she must be telling the truth. I man who would go through all that knowing the test would be negative.
The next morning after he took the test she asked me who told her that she was my biological mother. When I told her the persons name she got really upset. Then she told me the test would come back negative. I asked for an explanation but she never gave me one.
We didn't talk after that, then 4 long days later I got the results from my test. She was right, we are not a match. I wasn't surprised. I was relived. All the things that had been tearing me up inside weren't even true. I was so thankful.  I sent her a message that said "I got the test results today. I don't know why you lied to me but at least now I know the truth." Then I blocked her.
I have no idea why she lied to me. I have no clue why she would tell me the things she did. After I last blogged I got several messages from people who were angry for what she did. I guess I should be angry. But I am not. I am to thankful. I think I am still in shock. The bible says to pray for those who despitefully use you. So that is what I have been doing.
I have to admit I am super nervous about going on with this search. I have wanted this for so long. But after everything this woman told me I don't know if I really do want to know the truth or not. I always figured it wasn't the best circumstances , but I never realized how bad it could be. I wonder if not knowing is better than knowing.
I told my oldest daughter that I didn't know if I wanted to search anymore. She told me " Well since you've looked for her you have found out how many people are in the same position as you and how many people can relate to your story." She is so right.  No matter what I decide this journey has already taught me so much.
My prayer is that IF God wants me to find my biological family I will. If He doesn't I will accept that He is protecting me and his plan is always greater than mine. I will not let fear stop me. God did not give me a spirit of fear but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind. I am going to use that sound mind to guide me in my next steps.
What is the next step? I am going to ask that everyone keep sharing my story. I am expecting a phone call from a Tulsa County deputy that is trying to see if I can get a copy of the original Police report. I am still awaiting the DNA results from ancestry. The sisters mentioned above have done a DNA test through ancestry to see if we match. I will follow all leads. I am going to put this woman and her lies behind me. Most importantly I am just putting it all in God's hands. I pray His will be done.
I am thankful to everyone who has shared my story and showed me their support. On this crazy roller coaster ride your encouragement has kept me going.
I posted this on my personal instagram last night.

The poem under the picture really expresses how I feel right now. No matter where this journey leads me life will go on. One thing I know for sure I will never be the same as I was before I started this journey, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I will keep you posted on any knew news. Please keep sharing my story. 

DNA Results: Surprising

This journey has taught me so many things. Some good and some bad. I guess the saying is true, you take the good with the bad. I received a phone call today that I have been waiting for. Sarah with DNA Centers of Oklahoma called me and told me something that I already suspected.

There is a 0% probability that this woman is my biological mom!! That means that there is NO way she is my biological mother.
I already suspected that. When I first messaged her she told me that she was not my biological mom. Then later that evening she told me she was just shocked and taken off guard. She told me that she was my biological mother and she said that she put me in the phone booth. She told me details of my conception and birth. Why would I not believe her?  The resemblance is crazy. Not just to her but to her children as well.
The day after she did the DNA test she informed me that the test would come back negative. I asked her to explain, but I never got it.  She then informed me that I was her child. I was so confused. That was the last time we chatted.
The past few days I just decided that whatever the DNA test said I would accept. I didn't really expect the results to be back today, so i was surprised when  I got the call. But I am so glad the news came today. I just wanted to know the truth.
I have been asked if I am going to continue my search and honestly I don't know. There are still two amazing girls who believe I could be their sister, and we are testing through ancestry. The results on that are slow, but the easiest way to go. DNA tests are not cheap. I will ask that everyone keep sharing my post and getting my story out there for now. I will see what my ancestry DNA test says and if it has any matches. I am not sure what else I am up for doing at this point.
Thank you to everyone. I have received so many messages of kind words and prayers. I know this is all in God's hands and IF it is ever his timing for me to find my biological family I will, and if not I will be ok.