Friday, November 21, 2014

Video Blog and Surgery





It seems like once again things have taken a stand still in my search. This isn't surprising to me. It seems to be the cycle of my search.

I had surgery on Monday to have my gall bladder removed. I have been having problems with it for a couple of years, but just found out recently it was my gall bladder. The doctor wanted to take it out and even though the thought of surgery and removing an organ from my body was scary, I  went ahead and did it. The surgeon said that my gall bladder was twice the normal size. Right now I am recovering and ready to feel normal again. I have been researching everything about life without a gall bladder and gall bladder disease.

 Gall Bladder disease is more common in females and it is hereditary. There is that word- Hereditary!! It is a scary word to me, because I have NO family medical history! I have 3 daughters. I have always been afraid that I would have something that I could pass on to them and not even know it ran in my "family." I pray my girls never have any problems with there gall bladder. If I had known that this was a condition that ran in my "family" I could have done things in my life to possibly prevent this surgery. I am thankful that this is not a life threatening illness but I am saddened that it is a reminder that there is so much about me that I don't know.

Heredity can be as simple as eye color or as complex as cancer. Whatever the case may be I have no clue what I have inherited or could pass on to my kids. Honestly that is one of the scariest parts of being adopted, the unknown. I still have hope that some day I will find my family and finally be able to fill out that family medical section of my medical paper work….

I decided to take my search a step forward and start a video blog. I get a lot of messages with tips and ideas for searching. I also get a lot of messages from people searching and asking me for ideas and tips. I am going to use this video blog to share my story and what I have done in my search, what has worked and what hasn't worked.

I know it can be overwhelming searching for someone. Starting is the hardest thing. I hope my video blog can gel people that are searching as well as help get my story out. I attached the first video to this blog. I plan to do one every week, although I will admit that life gets busy sometimes so I may miss a week here or there, but I plan to stay on track.

I have so much support from my followers and I would just like to give back. Please watch my video and share it. If I can't find my biological family, I would at least like to help someone else in their search.


Friday, September 12, 2014

Great time with Tad and Lindsey

http://www.mix96tulsa.com/Player/102388481/

^^^^^^^^^ Above is the link to my interview with Tad and Lindsey on Mix 96.5^^^^^^^^^

I learned when I was a youth pastor about "divine connections". These are connections that you make with people that you know are destined by God. For example two great Pastors that I know, met and developed a friendship and then the two joined their ministries together to host one of the most amazing youth Rally's I have ever been to.  I have had many divine connections in my life. Sometimes you know instantly that you met someone for a reason, other times you don't learn until much later.

My middle daughter started gymnastics at a gym in Stillwater when she was 7 years old. She was a natural and started on the competitive team after only two months of gymnastics. Before long my youngest daughter started gymnastics as well. She was much younger and just started on a recreational level. My girls had some great coaches while they were doing gymnastics. I was friends with some of their coaches. One sweet girl named Alicia.

Alicia was a student in college and she was a great coach because she could show the girls what she wanted then to do, be stern, but caring at the same time. My girls adored Alicia. She carried my youngest daughter all over that gym! We were very sad when she graduated and left, but she and I remained friends on Facebook.

Alicia taged me in a post last week on Facebook.  Lindsey from Tad and Lindsey Mix 96 wanted to get in touch with me. Alicia's fiancĂ© works with Lindsey's husband. Small world? No, divine connection!

I went to Tulsa on Thursday to interview with Tad and Lindsey on their morning show. I started to get a little nervous when I got on the elevator, but once I met Lindsey's smiling face I was at ease. She took me to meet Tad. They were so cool that I forgot that I was being recorded.

Tad caught me totally off guard when he said the first question that he was going to ask me was totally uncomfortable. Then he asked why I didn't accept his friend request on Facebook. It was a great ice breaker for sure. I really enjoyed visiting with Tad and Lindsey. They were so nice. I am so thankful to them for taking time and allowing me to share my story with their listeners.  I am so thankful that my daughter took gymnastics 5 years ago and had a coach named Alicia who's  fiancĂ©e works with Lindsey's husband!! I am thankful to Tad and Lindsey for having interest in my story. They were so kind that they gave me some mega ride passes. My kids are super excited about that. 

Sharing my story is my biggest chance of finding my biological family. Everytime it is shared I have another chance that someone in my biological family will see it. Please share this blog and ask your friends to listen to me share my story with Tad and Lindsey. Everyone that hears is another chance.

Thank you so much to everyone who keeps sharing my story!! I have only gotten this far because of you!


HUGE thanks to Tad and Lindsey and Mix 96 for allowing me to share my story with their listeners.

Psalms 139:16 All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Open Doors

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/local/abandoned-at-birth-baby-maybelle-looks-for-her-mother/article_f9213d25-9498-57ee-93d9-0e6e436f6a48.html#user-comment-area



Joyce Meyers said "Having patience is not just the act of waiting, but waiting with a good attitude." When you have been searching and waiting for the same thing for 18 years sometimes it's hard to have a good attitude about it. I can honestly say the past month I have had the best attitude in my search to date. The amazing support that I am getting is such a blessing.

First KFOR ran my story online. I still don't know who ran it or how they even heard about my story, but I am extremely grateful to whomever it was.  After KFOR shared my story activity on my blog and Facebook page picked up. I was contacted by the Tulsa World. I went to Tulsa for an interview, and it was the best part of my search so far.

If you didn't get to see the story I attached the link at the top of the blog. Please take time to read and share the story that Michael Overall wrote. There is also a video that John Clanton put together. I love how they shared my story. On the website is a baby picture of me. I was so shocked when I saw it. The only baby pictures that I have seen of myself before 6 months old was printed out from microfiche. I believe this may be the same picture, but only zoomed out and clear. I am so thankful to the Tulsa World for sharing that picture.


This is my newborn baby picture. I am guessing this picture was taken by a photographer at the Tulsa World when they ran my original story in 1978. After 36 years I am beyond excited to finally have this picture! It's funny how the little things mean so much. I finally have a baby picture to compare to my girls.

I read the article and saw this amazing picture online before the story ran in print. There is a video with the article. I love this video. I love the footage from the fairgrounds. This is the video that I would love for my biological mother to see.

I was even more surprised when I got the paper on Tuesday.


I wasn't expecting front page!! I can not thank the Tulsa World enough!!

The only way I know to find my family is for them to find me. I am putting myself out there to be found. I don't know who they are, but I am making sure they know who I am. The Tulsa World has helped me with that. I am believing that this piece the Tulsa World did is going to get me closer than I have ever been before.

Lindsey Bauer, morning show host at Mix 96 in Tulsa has invited me to be on her show tomorrow morning.  I am excited. I have never done radio, so I am nervous, but I am so thankful for this opportunity. Any chance to share my story is a chance my biological family will see it. If you can listen to Mix 96.5 tomorrow morning.

Thank you for all the encouragement! I could not have made it this far without you!! Your words of encouragement and prayers really do keep me going. Thank you for all your suggestions and ideas to help me in my search! I am so thankful to everyone who shares my story!! God is opening doors for me that I never thought possible. I will continue patiently (with a good attitude) moving forward to where ever God leads.

Since I first started Maybelle page on Facebook in March it has been a wild ride. Sometimes I want to give up and sometimes I want to press forward. I always come to the same conclusion. It is all in God's hands. The desire of my heart is to meet my biological mom, in God's timing. So I will continue step through each door that God open's for me.


Friday, August 29, 2014

36 Years Later I Return to Where It All Began

When I think back on my story and this journey it feels like I started it a million years ago. When in reality it was only 18 years ago that I found out I was abandoned. I was told that there were newspaper articles about it. My search literally began at the Tulsa Library looking on micro fish in 1996. It was so hard and frustrating looking through the micro fish film and not really knowing what you were looking for. My husband and I spent hours looking.
       

I found this picture, and my heart sank. The Tulsa World, Tulsa Tribune and Daily Oklahoman have played a vital role in my search. All the information I have came from the newspaper articles. I am forever indebted to them. If they had not covered my story in 1978 I would literally know nothing. 36 years and 2 months after the above article ran I was honored to be contacted by the Tulsa World to do an interview.
I was beyond excited when I arrived at the Tulsa World. This is were my story was first told. Now I had the opportunity for the Tulsa World to let their readers know about my search. 


Last time my story ran in the paper I didn't have a voice. I was dependent upon the investigators to speak for me. This time I wore the mic.
 I was so excited for this interview. Of course,  I was nervous. I never know what they are going to ask and I always try not to cry. I am much better at writing about my story that I am talking about it. lol
 I met with Micheal Overall at the Tulsa World on Tuesday. He took me to the photo shooting room for the interview. There I met John Clanton, the multimedia producer at the Tulsa World. I wasn't expecting the cameras, but it was fun. Once Michael started asking me questions I forgot the camera's were even there.
After the interview, my husband and I met them at the Fairgrounds. I can honestly say this was the most peaceful moment of my entire search. 36 years and 2 months ago I was left in a phone booth by the Sky ride at the Tulsa Fairgrounds. 
We looked at old footage from 1978 and tried to figure out exactly where the telephone booth was located. We think we have a real good idea. We even found an old phone line mounted to the Skyride. It is amazing how much the fairgrounds has changed in 36 years. I was so surprised to find out how close Bell's Amusement park was to the Sky ride. Michael and John knew a lot about Tulsa and it's history. They definitely know a lot more about Tulsa in 1978 than I do. I was so thankful for what I learned when I was there. John took some pictures of me there. As I stood there I felt so much peace. Being there and trying to picture what it was like in 1978 is defiantly the coolest thing I have done in this search!!

I am so excited to see the piece that Micheal and John put together. I am so thankful that they chose to run my story. My story will be in the Tuesday edition of the Tulsa World, and online at Tulsaworld.com
I will also share the link on my Facebook and blog. I pray that someone in my biological family sees the article. How cool would it be if the first place to share my story is the one that leads me to my biological family?

I also wanted to share that Kfor.com ran my story. I didn't even know. I was following a lead I got and I googling it and my story came up. I was so shocked and excited. I don't know who at kfor saw my story and decided to run it, but whoever it was THANK YOU!!  If you haven seen it, I shared it on my Facebook. That story that kfor ran totally explains the increased activity my Facebook page has received in the past couple weeks.

I have received a lot of messages from people with information they may think is helpful.  I have followed all leads. I also consider all suggestions. A man shared a story about how he used DNA to help him find his biological family. I am going to try it. I already have my DNA test from Ancestry. I am going to do the 23andme and familytreeDNA test. Once I have all the results I am going to take them to a genetic genealogist. If it doesn't help me find my family I will least learn a lot of stuff about myself.

Thank you for all the messages the past couple of weeks. I love when people share their stories good and bad. They give me hope, but also warn me to proceed with caution. Your prayers are defiantly felt. The Bible says in Matthew 18:19 "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven." Thank you for agreeing with me. God's timing is never to late, its always right on time!!


Friday, August 22, 2014

Because of YOU the search keeps going

I am beyond blessed to have such special people whom I don't even know helping me in my search. Let me explain what I mean-
After my story aired on Channel 6 in Tulsa nothing happened. My blog got fewer and fewer hits. My story wasn't being shared on Facebook anymore. I wasn't getting any new friend requests. I never heard from Troy Dunn. No new matches on Ancestry.  Just like every other time I have searched, all leads just stopped.
I had two choices. I could keep going. I could keep asking people to share my story. Honestly, I didn't want to ask again. I didn't want to impose on people. Most of my friends had shared my story and some multiple times. My other choice was to stop. Not give up, please understand I will never give up. Just stop and trust in God. I always say that this will happen in God's timing. In Psalms it says" God wrote the story of our lives before we ever came to be." So I made the choice to stop and trust that God is in control.
This was easier than I thought. It was summer and my girls were home. We had an amazing summer. We traveled and spent a lot of time together this summer. I even got a huge unexpected opportunity that could turn into a major blessing for me and my family. (that is a whole other story) I stayed blessed and busy, so it was easy to keep my mind off my search.
I didn't  check Maybelle's Facebook very much through the summer. A couple of weeks ago I started getting emails that I had friend request. So I accepted them through the email. This past week I noticed that my story was being shared. I had 70 friend request this week. I am not sure how many times my story has been shared since I still haven't actually logged into Facebook.
Then yesterday something amazing happened. I got an email that was a message someone sent me on Facebook. I started to read it and I was in complete shock. The message was from a reporter from the Tulsa World. He said he and his editor were intrigued with my Facebook and blog. He asked if I would  do an interview. My excitement shocked me. I was more excited about this than I remember being excited any other time someone wanted to do my story. I called him immediately.
After I talked with him I realized how awesome this is. Other times people wanted to do my story it was because someone I knew had contacted the reporter. This time I have no idea how this reporter heard about me. Did he see my story on TV? Did he stumble upon my blog or did someone I don't even know share my story and he saw it? I am going to ask him, but I am guessing God lead someone to share my story and this reporter saw it.
I have defiantly had my griefs with social media. Often times I have just wanted to delete it all and throw away my smart phone. Sharing my story on Facebook has had its ups and downs. I have learned that there are mean crazy people in this world. But I have also learned that there are caring and loving people in this world too. These extraordinary people have blessed me so much.
 For most of my life I have felt so alone in this search. I knew I had the amazing support of my husband and children. They understand how I feel better than anyone else can. My husband lifts me up when I feel like I can't go on. Having their support has been amazing. But I always knew that we couldn't do it alone.
Everyone who has shared my story on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Youtube have blessed me more than you can ever know. I don't feel so alone in this search anymore. Some people classify themselves as search angels, but to me every single person who has shared my story, read my blog, and messaged me your support and encouragement,  are all my search angels. When I had stopped you kept going. When my thoughts and emotions had to rest, you didn't stop. And now because of you I am getting my story shared in the Tulsa World! I am so thankful to all of you!!
I want to share one more thing with you. I think I have blogged before about a book I remember my brother reading me when I was little. It was called "Why was I adopted?" I loved that book and the time that was shared reading it to me. I never knew what happened to that book after I got married. I looked it up on amazon this summer.
                                                 
I bought it! I was like a little kid again when  I received it! I sat down and read it to my husband. lol 

Sometimes it is the little things you do in life like reading a book from your childhood that can bring the most joy. My search angels have brought me so much joy by doing a little thing like sharing my story!

Now I am going to log onto Facebook and share this blog with my amazing friends and see what God has in store. Thank you in advance to everyone who shares this. I notice every share and I read every comment and message you send me. Your words of encouragement mean so much. I know someday someone is going to share my story and my biological family will see it!! It's all in God's timing!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Happy Birth/Abandonment Day

 Have you ever lost something? My youngest daughter loses her phone all the time. Its never really "lost", just misplaced. I notice that how quickly she finds her phone depends on the urgency of her need with her phone. Sometimes it will go missing for days and when she decides she wants to text a friend or something she starts to look for it and its usually in plain site. My oldest daughter on the other hand reacts quite differently when she notices her cell phone out of her sight. It usually starts with a look of pure panic on her face as she feels her pockets and looks around her. Once she has established the phone is "lost" the whole world freezes until the phone is found, which is usually a few seconds since her phone is always by her side. lol
There is a difference between misplacing your cell phone and actually losing something. I remember a few years back I lost my dog. When I was about 11 years old I got a little winnie dog and I named him Yoshi. He was MY dog. When I got married and moved out I took him with me. I still had him through the birth of two of my children. He was our beloved family dog. I knew he was getting old and worried that he would pass soon. On halloween of 2005 Yoshi disappeared. We were heart broken. We looked everywhere for him. We printed out flyers and handed them out while we were trick or treating. I called the local shelter. I did everything I knew to do to find him. We looked for days. Days turned into weeks and we were still looking. Weeks turned into months and we came to terms that we probably weren't going to find Yoshi. How long can you really look for something you lost?
Maybe the answer to that question can be seen in my daughters and their "lost" cell phones. To Haley her phone is important to her. Its her form of communication and as an active teenage girl she needs to communicate with friends, teacher,coaches and her parents. When I asked her why her phone is important to her she said "it's my communication to the world and without it I feel like a piece of me is missing!"She is extreme, I know, lol. Emily on the other hand usually just plays games on her phone. She has filled the memory with pics so she can't use the camera unless she deletes the pics. She only texts a few friends and that is rarely. Her phone is of little importance to her. She is much more concerned about her stuffed unicorn, Fluffy. Maybe the length of how long you look for what you have lost depends on the importance of the missing object to the person who is trying to locate it.

36 years ago today I lost something and I am still looking for it. On June 12, 1978  I was born in an unknown location that was approximately somewhere within 3 hours of the Tulsa County Fairgrounds. I don't know who gave birth to me, who delivered, or the time of my birth. I know that my umbilical cord was tied with a twisty tie from a bread sack. I also know that there must have been complications at birth because I have been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, which is caused by lack of oxygen at birth. I was left in a phone booth at the Tulsa State Fairgrounds within a few hours after my birth. I got the privilege of chatting with one of the officers who found me. He told me that he was working a stake out that day close to the fairgrounds when he got the call that there was a baby at the fairgrounds. He said  they turned on the sirens and got to me in less than 5 minutes. From there I was taken to the hospital. The doctors said I appeared to be 4 hours old and in good health.

I don't know how long I was in the hospital or what happened when  I was there. I do know that the Tulsa County Sheriff's department was investigating. The PD named me Maybelle. They said it was fitting since I was found in a Ma Belle telephone booth.  An anonymous source called the PD and told them that I was stolen from my ailing mother.
. The newspapers also said that a woman called the PD and the hospital numerous times asking about my condition and said "take care of my baby, take care of my baby.

After the anonymous caller told the police  I was taken from my mother the PD released that they would not press chargers against her if she came forward. An investigator told the Tulsa World that he felt confident the mother would come forward. But she never did. 

I don't know how long I was in the hospital or where I went after I was released. I have been told that I was in foster care for 6 months. I don't know who I lived with or how many families had me before I was adopted at 6 months. 

These newspaper articles are the only pictures that I have of myself before 6 months of age. These newspaper articles are also the only thing that I have to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I would love to be able to get the reports of the investigation from the Tulsa County Sheriff's office, but it's not that easy. 

There are so many things that I don't know about that day 36 years ago. I am praying that someday I find the answers that I seek. Over the past few months I thought  I was getting close and for a short time I thought I had finally found what I was looking for. All roads have led to dead ends and I am not sure if  I will ever find my biological family. 

I know that someone knows what happened that day. A young man called the Tulsa County Sheriff's department as an anonymous source and gave them information about me. I really thought that if my story was shared enough someone with information that could help me would come forward. That has not happened yet. 

I sit here 36 years later in the same town  I was abandoned in. I think this is my first birthday I have spent in this town. I am going to ask everyone who reads this to please share it. Share it everywhere you can. Everytime its shared there is a chance my biological mother/family member will see it. What a wonderful birthday present it would be if my biological mother would see this today of all days. 

Thank you so much to everyone for your support over the past few months. You all have helped me so much! I have no new news to report. I haven't heard anything from Troy Dunn and no new leads came from the news report.  I still remain hopeful. I know it is all in God's timing.  How long do I keep looking?  I will keep looking for as long as it takes. Like my oldest daughter Haley said about her cell phone, " I feel like there is a piece of me missing." No time can be put on this for me. I will keep looking.  Can you imagine still looking for the same thing for 36 years? 

Psalms 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when  Iwas made in that secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your boo before one came to be.

God wrote the story of my life before any of it came to be. I am praying chapter 36 answers a lot of questions from the past chapters. 

Monday, May 19, 2014

A Night at the Softball Field

I have been extremely busy since Spring Break. I have spent most of my nights, usually at least 4 nights a week at the softball fields. I have been blessed that most nights Emily and Katey play at the same place back to back. Its the little things like that I am so thankful for. Emily decided she wanted to play softball this year. She is 9 years old and never played ball, but this year she wanted to. So she started with coach pitch softball. She has a really good coach and they have won most their games. The coaches wife keeps the score book for the team and almost every game I sit a few people down from her if not next to her.
Tonight we started talking about our mutual love of Florida. We talked for quite a while about it. She made a comment about her sister and brother in law living in Florida. She said her brother in law has his own reality show and helps people find missing people!! My heart sunk when I heard this. I honestly thought I was hearing wrong. My husband asked her who her brother in law was and she answered "Troy Dunn."  I could not even believe it. I sat their in shock and laughing to myself. I sat here for weeks trying to get my story to Troy Dunn and his sister in law was sitting next to me  4 nights a week. I told her how I sat right here next to her and read Troy's book on my kindle. I told her my story. She gave me her email and I emailed her the link to this blog. We visited about it a little more and then she text her sister and told her she had an interesting story for her.
I have been told for months that I needed to get my story to Troy Dunn and now my story will get to him. It is no secret that I am not a big fan of living in this tiny little country town I live in. No offense to it, but I grew up in a small town and really loved it when I moved to a bigger city. I am tired of small town. I often wonder why we are here. It is not more convenient to work or really have any thing to offer us that we didn't already have before we moved here. I often wonder what God's plan is for us here.
As I sat at the softball game tonight I realized that I am in this town  for a reason. I don't know very many people in this town, but of the very few I know one is Troy Dunn's sister in law. I don't know what he will think of my story or if he will even think he will be able to help me. I know he gets thousands of requests a day and I really doubted if he would ever hear mine. I am so thankful for this connection that I made from my baby girl wanting to play softball. It reminded me that God is working in our favor when we don't even see  the result of it yet. All this time I have been so negative about living here and God was just paving the way for me to this divine connection. I am so thankful. Even if nothing comes of it, at least I know he heard my story.

I want to thank everyone who viewed and shared the story that Lori Fullbright did Friday night on News 6. If you missed it you can see it at www.newson6.com  I will upload the video to my blog once I get a copy.
I showed up at the park on Friday morning and I was nervous. I tried to hide it. I struggle with not knowing what she is going to ask and also talking about something so personal for everyone to see. I tell myself to stick to the facts and not so much emotion. Once Lori showed up I forgot everything I was nervous about. She is such an awesome lady. I really felt like I was just visiting with a friend.
 I wasn't nervous and forgot about the camera. I am very pleased with the story Lori Fullbright did. I am thankful for another divine connection. An amazing lady that has helped me with a few things on this journey is a friend of Lori's and she shared my story with Lori. I have been so blessed to meet so many nice people along this journey.

Thank you to everyone that has shared my story in any way. I believe it is from these shares that I am getting connections that could possibly lead me closer in my search. Please keep sharing. I believe that with every share I am a step closer to the end of my journey. I am going to sleep smiling tonight knowing that even when I don't see it God is in control and working in my favor.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Tulsa News 6 at 6pm tonight

My interview with Lori Fullbright today went great. She is such an awesome person. I'm so honored that she took time out of her day to talk with me about my story. I'll post the story here after it airs. If you can tune in tonight at 6pm to Tulsa channel 6. I'm excited to see what she puts together.  You can watch at newson6.com 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Troy Dunn, Ancestry DNA, Mother's Day, News 6

 Softball games, cheer practices, and all the end of the school year activities have occupied most of my time the last few weeks. During all this I have had a lot of things happen with my search. I apologize for not blogging sooner.

Two weeks ago I saw a post on Troy Dunn's Facebook. He had helped a young man reunite with his family. Troy Dunn said that he received hundreds of emails asking him to help this man. I shared the video on my Facebook page. I also shared my story on Troy's Facebook page. I downloaded his book "Its never too Late: Lessons for life from the Locator" onto my kindle and read the whole thing in less than 24 hours. It was an amazing book for someone searching for a loved one. At the end of the book is a list of resources. I wanted to search all the resources, and that led me to the Locator's Club.
The locators Club  is a website ran by Troy Dunn and his staff.  I set up a profile and watched the getting started video. I was really excited with all the information I was getting. I noticed under the getting started video people left their story in the comments and Troy or a staff member responded. It appears that his staff is helping people in their search through this website. I immediately shared my story. I haven't received any response from them yet. I shared my story on that site and on Troy Dunn's Facebook page.  He gets thousands of requests a day so I know it is a long shot but hopefully he sees my story and wants to help.

I also watched his first quick start video. He gave me things to work on and I am excited to get started. I am hoping these steps get me closer in my search. There seem to be a lot of information on the Locators Club site and  I can't wait to read through it all.
When I first posted that picture on Facebook in March I met some amazing girls. It all started with their cousin who saw my post and thought it was her cousin. She shared the post for her cousins to see and messaged me. The resemblance between these two sisters and  I was remarkable. After chatting with them we thought there may be a chance that we could have the same father. I originally talked to DNA services of Oklahoma about doing a sibling DNA test with one of the sisters. That night was when a woman posing as my mother told me she was my mother. I changed the test from a sibling test to a maternity test and tested with the woman. It was not a match. After I found out she was lying to me the whole time we decided that one of the sisters could go ahead and test through ancestry. The results are longer to get, but the price is more manageable. Unfortunately we are not a match either. I was really disappointed. These are two amazing women with beautiful families. They were so open to welcome me in and I felt like they actually wanted me to be their sister. I called ancestry and told them my situation. I asked if their test would match half siblings and he said yes. One thing I have learned is that just because you have a strong resemblance to someone doesn't mean you are related :(.

 I have contacted my closest matches ( 3rd-4th cousins). Some have messaged back. Everyone is intrigued with my story and willing to help, but nobody knows anything. We don't even know how we are related. I have been considering doing the 23andme.com DNA test to see who I match there.
This past weekend, Mother's Day weekend, was when I was suppose to meet the woman who was posing as my biological mother. We were in the process of planning a trip to Ohio when she dropped the bomb on me that she had been lying. I celebrated my 36th Mother's Day still not knowing who my biological mother is. I believe that you can't understand what that's like unless you experience it. Despite this my children gave me an awesome Mother's Day. My youngest gave me tons of gifts she made for me at school. My middle daughter and her best friend cooked breakfast for me and then brownies. She also gave me a gift card to iTunes. My oldest gave me a gift on Facebook. I was completely shocked.





I love this so much. She is an aspiring singer/songwriter. My kids made my day special. I am so thankful for them. They inspire me everyday. Having three daughters really  increased my desire to find my biological family, but they are also a reminder that if my search never comes to an end I will be ok. 

During this search I met a wonderful search angel who has helped me whenever I needed anything. She is an amazing lady that lives in Tulsa. She contacted Lori Fullbright from News 6 in Tulsa. I have an interview tomorrow with her. I am so excited and nervous. This is another change for me to get my story out there. It will air in Tulsa, the town I was born and abandoned in. I will let everyone know as soon as I know the air date and time. 

Thank you to everyone who continues to share my story, pray for me, and send me words of encouragement. I have wanted to give up plenty of times in the past 6 weeks. Your encouragement inspires me to keep moving forward. 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Ancestry DNA Results

This journey since I posted that Picture to Facebook on March 28 has been crazy. I have really been battling with myself if I even wanted to keep searching. Everything that happened with the woman who falsely claimed to be my biological mother was a nightmare. It really made me question if I really do want to know the answers to my questions. Every time I feel like giving up something happens to keep me going.
I wasn't expecting my ancestry results for another 4 weeks. I have been checking the website every few days to see the progress on the test. I was expecting to receive an email when the results were ready to view. Yesterday I logged in and clicked the DNA tab expecting it to say processing. I was completely shocked when I was this:

First I looked at the ethnicity. There was so much more information than I had expected. I was so excited! My main ethnicity is Spanish followed by French, Italian and Irish. Ancestry maps the area your ethnicity is from. 


I thought this was really cool. The map gets even more detailed when you click on each ethnicity. It is very interesting and a lot of fun to learn about. Even my kids got excited seeing all this. For everyone who guessed I was Native American, I only have 2% Native American. 
I am really excited about learning more on ancestry and researching my ethnicity. I know to some people it may not seem like a big deal, but to me this is HUGE!! 

Next I looked at the DNA matches. At first look I thought there was 61 matches. I couldn't believe it. I was hoping for 1 match. At closer look I relized it was 61 pages of matches!! WOW!! I was completely shocked. 
It matched me to 2 people that are 3rd cousins, 13 people that are 4th cousins. The rest are distant cousins. At first I was overwhelmed and didn't really know where to start. I just started clicking on the names and getting familiar with the site. I mainly focused on the 15 people that are 3rd and 4th cousins. I was on the site all day researching. I did link 3 people back to how they are connected to each other which means they would be on the same side of the family. It is really interesting and fun to research. 
Last night one of the woman that I was matched to as a distant cousin (5th-8th cousin) messaged me on ancestry. I was so excited. She told me she looked at my profile, which explained my story, and she had to write me. It was awesome. 
Today I messaged the 15 people that are 3rd and 4th cousins. I already had one reply and she said she wants to help me figure out how we are related. 
I am so glad I did the ancestry DNA test. Finding out my ethnicity was something I always wanted. The match to cousins has been an amazing bonus.  I still have a long way to go to actually finding my biological parents, but I am closer than I have ever been.  I will keep you posted as I find out more.
Please keep sharing my story. Every time its shared there is a chance a person with the right information will see it. That is still my best chance. Thank you so much to everyone for sharing and the support that you have show me. It means more to me than you could ever know!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Moving Forward

I have had a couple of days to really think about everything that has happened since I first posted that picture to Facebook on March 28. The past few weeks have had many ups and downs. I have met some pretty awesome people and one not so awesome person. The response has been more than I ever expected. I have seriously thought about deleting the picture and stopping the search all together.
The first few days after i posted that picture to Facebook were amazing. I had many people messaging me with encouraging words and prayers. I have had a couple of people do small things that have helped me in huge ways. I never imagined that I would have so many supporting me in this.
After a couple of good leads I thought I may have found some sisters from my fathers side. We were ready to get a DNA test. I was so excited.
Then I got the message that someone thought they knew who my biological mom was. This person filled me in on what she knew. I followed through with the lead. I contacted who I thought could be my biological mother. She denied it at first, but then told me that she was my biological mom. She told me that she put me in that phone booth. She kept changing the story of who my biological father was. Finally she told me that she was raped by her father and that I was conceived from that. It never really made since to me, because she told me that he started selling her for sex when she was 9 years old. So to me that meant that my father could have been anyone, but she said she was sure that it was her dad. She told me over and over how bad things were for her when she was pregnant with me. She told me she was alone and scared when she had me. She said she took me to the phone booth to protect me from her dad. She said she was afraid what he would do to me. She made me believe that she saved my life.  I was very thankful.
It was extremely hard for me to deal with everything she told me. Going into this search I was eager to find out the circumstances behind my abandonment. I am not so eager now. I knew the circumstances were probably not good, but i never could have imagined the things she told me It was so hard to accept that I came from such horrible people and circumstances.
My husband convinced me to wait until I got the DNA test back before I accept what she said about who my father was. so after a long 24 hours I decided to put all that to the side and take one step at a time. I decided to first confirm that she was truly who she claimed to be.
Words can not express what I felt. I told my husband that  I wished that I had never searched. I wanted to unknown what I knew. I thought not knowing is better than knowing this. It was a really hard time for me. I am so thankful to my husband for being my rock in this time.
I visited with my alleged biological mom for about a week. Everything was going good. She rescheduled her first DNA test, but went to the 2nd appointment. Even though I always had a little doubt that she was who she claimed to be, once she took the DNA test I figured she must be telling the truth. I man who would go through all that knowing the test would be negative.
The next morning after he took the test she asked me who told her that she was my biological mother. When I told her the persons name she got really upset. Then she told me the test would come back negative. I asked for an explanation but she never gave me one.
We didn't talk after that, then 4 long days later I got the results from my test. She was right, we are not a match. I wasn't surprised. I was relived. All the things that had been tearing me up inside weren't even true. I was so thankful.  I sent her a message that said "I got the test results today. I don't know why you lied to me but at least now I know the truth." Then I blocked her.
I have no idea why she lied to me. I have no clue why she would tell me the things she did. After I last blogged I got several messages from people who were angry for what she did. I guess I should be angry. But I am not. I am to thankful. I think I am still in shock. The bible says to pray for those who despitefully use you. So that is what I have been doing.
I have to admit I am super nervous about going on with this search. I have wanted this for so long. But after everything this woman told me I don't know if I really do want to know the truth or not. I always figured it wasn't the best circumstances , but I never realized how bad it could be. I wonder if not knowing is better than knowing.
I told my oldest daughter that I didn't know if I wanted to search anymore. She told me " Well since you've looked for her you have found out how many people are in the same position as you and how many people can relate to your story." She is so right.  No matter what I decide this journey has already taught me so much.
My prayer is that IF God wants me to find my biological family I will. If He doesn't I will accept that He is protecting me and his plan is always greater than mine. I will not let fear stop me. God did not give me a spirit of fear but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind. I am going to use that sound mind to guide me in my next steps.
What is the next step? I am going to ask that everyone keep sharing my story. I am expecting a phone call from a Tulsa County deputy that is trying to see if I can get a copy of the original Police report. I am still awaiting the DNA results from ancestry. The sisters mentioned above have done a DNA test through ancestry to see if we match. I will follow all leads. I am going to put this woman and her lies behind me. Most importantly I am just putting it all in God's hands. I pray His will be done.
I am thankful to everyone who has shared my story and showed me their support. On this crazy roller coaster ride your encouragement has kept me going.
I posted this on my personal instagram last night.
The poem under the picture really expresses how I feel right now. No matter where this journey leads me life will go on. One thing I know for sure I will never be the same as I was before I started this journey, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I will keep you posted on any knew news. Please keep sharing my story. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

DNA Results: Surprising

This journey has taught me so many things. Some good and some bad. I guess the saying is true, you take the good with the bad. I received a phone call today that I have been waiting for. Sarah with DNA Centers of Oklahoma called me and told me something that I already suspected.
There is a 0% probability that this woman is my biological mom!! That means that there is NO way she is my biological mother.
I already suspected that. When I first messaged her she told me that she was not my biological mom. Then later that evening she told me she was just shocked and taken off guard. She told me that she was my biological mother and she said that she put me in the phone booth. She told me details of my conception and birth. Why would I not believe her?  The resemblance is crazy. Not just to her but to her children as well.
The day after she did the DNA test she informed me that the test would come back negative. I asked her to explain, but I never got it.  She then informed me that I was her child. I was so confused. That was the last time we chatted.
The past few days I just decided that whatever the DNA test said I would accept. I didn't really expect the results to be back today, so i was surprised when  I got the call. But I am so glad the news came today. I just wanted to know the truth.
I have been asked if I am going to continue my search and honestly I don't know. There are still two amazing girls who believe I could be their sister, and we are testing through ancestry. The results on that are slow, but the easiest way to go. DNA tests are not cheap. I will ask that everyone keep sharing my post and getting my story out there for now. I will see what my ancestry DNA test says and if it has any matches. I am not sure what else I am up for doing at this point.
Thank you to everyone. I have received so many messages of kind words and prayers. I know this is all in God's hands and IF it is ever his timing for me to find my biological family I will, and if not I will be ok.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The Power of Social Media in one week.

My life has changed so much in one week.  I never dreamed in a million years how much my life would change by one simple picture. The power of school media, the compassion of people, the power of prayer, and the two seconds it takes to hit the share button changed my life!!

On March 28, 2014 about 4pm I posted a pic to Facebook in search of my biological mom.  The response was amazing. My post was shared all over the United States and in several different countries. I received so many encouraging messages and prayers. I met some amazing people in a few short days. I followed every single lead that  I received.  This was the closest I had ever been to finding my biological family. Then I received a message that changed everything…..
A week ago today  I received a message from someone with some pretty convincing information. I listened to everything this person had to say. I was told what my biological mother's name was. I quickly searched her name on Facebook and added her as a friend. My children and I were stunned at the resemblance I had to her. I messaged her right away. Needless to say I caught her totally of guard and shocked her. After chatting for a while she told me that she was my mother. She also told me the circumstances surrounding my birth. I am not ready to go into detail on my blog at this time about those circumstances. But I will say this…. My biological mother is a very strong and courageous woman. She saved my life by placing me in that phone booth and calling the cops. I am so thankful to her for protecting me and saving my life.  We have chatted every day for the past week. WOW! I can't believe it has been a week already! We are getting to know each other more everyday. It is amazing. We are so much alike! I love it!  I haven't stopped smiling yet. My husband says I am glowing. I also have a beautiful sister who is 27, and an awesome baby brother who is 10. How cool is that? 
I can't explain the feelings that I have. Its a wholeness that I have never felt. The missing pieces are finally in place. So many questions that I have had my whole life have been answered. It is truly an answer to my prayers. 
Many people have asked  about a DNA test. I did mine last Thursday and my biological mom is doing hers tomorrow. We will have the results in 3-5 business days. The DNA test is important to me. It leaves no room for doubt, no room for my mind to wander. It also gives proof to those who doubt my judgement. But most importantly it gives me that peace of mind that I have been after for so long. 

I have had many people ask about a reunion. We are starting to save our money now in hopes of flying to Ohio in May to meet. If all goes well I will get to spend her birthday and Mothers Day with her. We are all so excited! 

I want to thank everyone who has helped me along this journey. I know its not over yet, but I would have never made it this far without all the words of encouragement, prayers, messages, texts, phone calls, and sharing my post. I didn't do this alone, I did it with the help and support of so many people. Many that I have never met before. I appreciate you so much.  

I want to thank my adoptive family! Thank you for supporting me and putting up with me all these years. Thank you for loving me and caring for me. I am so thankful for the life that my parents gave me and I love them dearly. I am thankful to my brothers for always looking out for me when I was growing up. Even if I didn't want them to sometimes. I was blessed with a great childhood. I also have some of the best and craziest cousins around. The support from my cousins has been amazing and I really appreciate and love you all. 

I want to thank my husband! He has been my rock. I absolutely could not have made it through this without him. He has been my strength in times that I didn't even think I could stand. I am so thankful that he never gave up on me.

I am thankful to God who is faithful. The bible says he gives us the desires of our heart.  He has given me mine. God is so good. I know that He has had his hand on me my whole life. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness. 

I hope I was able to answers everyone questions in this blog.  I will blog again as soon as I get the DNA results back. Until then remember: NEVER give up hope! With GOD all things are possible!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Phone Call and an Unmistakable Resemblance

So much has happened since I last blogged 24 hours ago. My heart is so overjoyed that I feel like it might explode. I can't stop smiling!!!
After I blogged yesterday I made that phone call. I was so nervous and didn't really know what I was going to say. But the woman on the other end of the phone was amazing. Our dates defiantly match up, and there are a few similarities. But over all I am not sure are stories match up,
An anonymous source back in 1978 called the Tulsa PD and reported that I was taken from my biological mom by my biological grandmother and placed in the telephone booth. HE said the mother needed medical attention, but the grandmother wouldn't take her to the doctor because they would know that she just had a baby. A woman called the hospital I was in twice and the PD twice back in 1978 and said "Take care of my baby, Im going to come get her." But she never showed up. 
This part of my story doesn't really match up with the woman I talked with. But we can't ignore the dates and the few similarities that we share like migraines. Our migraine symptoms are almost identical. It was crazy. I really enjoyed talking to this amazing woman and if we turn out to be sisters or not I want to help her find her other missing sister!! No matter the outcome here I met an amazing person with an amazing story and we have a lot in common. Sister or not I found a friend, and I am so thankful to God for that. 
Yesterday afternoon I received a message from another amazing person who thought I looked like her cousin. I must say the resemblance is unmistakable. For the first time in my life I see pictures of people other than my kids that look like me!! WHAT?!? This has never happened before!! There are 2 sisters and I resemble them so much! My kids resemble them and I resemble their kids!! CRAZY HUH? Could this be my family? If so its only through the father, who is now deceased. The only way that we can know is through a DNA test. 
I called my best friend from high school who works for DHS and she gave me the number to the DNA testing Center. I called it and found out a lot of information about the sibling test and how it works. The cost is $645 for the test and we can have the results back in 7-10 days!! We are going to do it!! 
Im so excited that words can not express what I am feeling. I know there is a possibility that these two girls are not my sisters, but this the closest I have EVER been. I will know within 2 weeks if I have found my biological fathers side of my family. 
That still leaves my biological mothers side of the family. I still have NO leads on that at all. I am really praying that I find my biological mom. I pray she is still alive. I am going to continue my search full force for her. So please continue sharing my story in hopes that she will see it.  
My husband made a phone call yesterday and found out that I can get the original police records from the investigation in 1978. I am going to go to Tulsa and pick those up this week. I know there is stuff in the report that wasn't released to the media and I can't wait to see what I find. 
THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who has shared my story, sent encouraging words, and prayers. THANK YOU to the cousin who took the time to look at my pic on her wall and notice the connection and then message me. 
A lady yesterday messaged me. She lives 2 blocks from the Tulsa Fairgrounds. She drove to the fairgrounds and said a prayer for me there!! My heart is overflowing from all the kindness. I truly am thankful for everyone helping me. I can not do this search alone. I have tried. But with your help I am getting closer than  I have ever been before.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Facebook

I have been sharing my story on Facebook for a year now. I started by uploading my video of the new report from 8 years ago to my youtube and asking my Facebook friends to share it. Some did, but most didn't. Nothing ever came of it. I always knew that Facebook was my best bet in finding my family. With all the people on Facebook, someone on there has to be in my family. 
In January I made a Facebook page with the name Maybelle.  Maybelle was the name given to me by the Tulsa PD. The paper quoted the Tulsa PD as saying "We have to name the baby out of necessity so since she was found in a Mae Belle phone booth we named her Maybelle." I figured that would be the name my birth mom would recognize. I posted pics from the newspaper articles that I have from 1978. I asked my friends to share but again, not much came of it. I have been sharing my story on Facebook, twitter, instagram, vine, youtube and blogging. All in hopes that my birth family will see it. 
When I read that the Burger King baby found her mom I was so excited! It gives me hope that I am on the right track. Her mom saw her post after 11 days. That is amazing!! 
I spent all day Friday making a poster! Yes it took me all day to trace out the letters. lol  there is so much that I wanted to say but not much room on the poster. I had my husband take a picture of me holding the poster. This is the finished product. 
I posted this Friday at about 4pm on my Facebook page. I asked that everyone please share it. The response has been amazing. As of this morning this pic has been shared over 5,000 times on Facebook!! WOW!! I am overjoyed and scared. Its a crazy mix of emotions. I don't want the sharing to stop until I find her. It took the Burger King baby 33,000 shares before her mom saw it. So I am well on my way. 
I have gotten so many kind comments and messages from people all over the United States. The kind words mean so much to me. I think people have no idea how much this all means to me. I have got a few rude remarks too, but thats ok. Haters gonna hate I guess. Someone even called me a 'prom date dumpster baby.' But thankfully the outpouring of kind messages and comments have way out weighed the negative ones. 
I received one message last night that may be a lead on a sister. I don't want to say to much about it right now. I know that there can be some false leads before I find the right one. I am going to follow all leads until I find my family. I am going to be calling her today to talk and see if we may be related. I will keep you posted on this lead. I am really not getting my hopes up on anything until I know for sure. I guard my heart very closely. I guess its one of the side affects of being abandoned. I don't want to set myself up for a let down. 
I am very nervous about this call though. I am not sure what to say or what is going to come of it. I have never been this close before. 
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everyone that has been sharing my story. It means everything to me!! My dream for as long as I can remember is to find my family and with everyones help by sharing my story I am closer than I have ever been. Please keep sharing. The more times it is shared the closer I am to being reunited with my family. Feel free to share it on any social media or anywhere that you may think will help. Feel free to leave me comments too. Believe it or not your words keep me going. Just knowing that there are people standing behind me on this helps me find the strength inside myself to keep going. Thank you all so much!!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Check out my full story on youtube

Tube of Spit

I was beyond excited when the UPS man  rang my door bell. I answered the door smiling from ear to ear. He had no way of knowing that he was delivering something I have been waiting years to receive. 
I ripped open the box to see what was inside. Who knew it would be so simple. The first thing I saw was the instruction book. It instructed me to go online and enter the number on the tube to activate the test. This is how the test is linked to me. Next it stated that you can't eat, drink, smoke, or chew gum 30 minutes prior to the test. So i decided to wait and do it right when I woke up Thursday morning.
This morning I woke up 45 minutes before my alarm went off. After tossing and turning for several minutes I decided to get up and take the test. I got out the instruction book and reread it to make sure I was doing everything correct. I opened the tube from the package. The instruction book says to fill the tube up to the wavy line with spit. This felt very odd spitting into a tube. It read that its only 1/4 of a teaspoon but it felt like a cup of spit. I didn't think I was ever going to reach the wavy line, but I finally did. 
The next step is to screw the included lid onto the tube and shake it. This releases the sustaining solution. Once I shook the tube my spit mixed with the solution and the tube was filled. I put the tube in the included bag and then box. Then it was ready to ship. 
I was still excited when I placed that box in the mailbox for the postman to pick up. My future is in that little box. Who knew my spit could answer so many questions for me? This was so simple I can't believe it has taken me this long to do it. I should receive the results in 6-8 weeks. Knowing me I will be checking the status of the test daily. 
More exciting news….
One person I contacted yesterday on adopted.com contacted me today. Her aunt told her that her mother had a baby girl in 1978 and she was adopted in Oklahoma. That is really all she knows. She wants to see if we are a match. I'm not getting my hopes up because this is really the first person ever that has even been a possibility. I will keep everyone posted on what we find out. 
A lot of exciting things are happening in my search. I am closer than I have ever been to finding some answers. Thank you to everyone who has been sharing my story and praying for me. I truly appreciate your support. This search is not easy, but the more my story is shared the closer I get to the right person seeing it!!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Adoption Registry

Back in 2006 I spent countless hours scrolling through registries looking for some kind of match, only to always turn up with nothing. It was always so frustrating and disappointing. I quit looking through the registries and haven't looked since. Today that all changed.
I registered with Adopted.com. It seems to be a helpful website that matches you based on key words and dates and locations. I have thousands of possible matches on this site. The site breaks down the matches based in a percentage. I looked through all the 90% and 80% matches. I actually found a few to message back. They didn't have all the details but if they are looking for a baby girl adopted in Oklahoma in 1978 I sent them a message. I have thousands more to look through. I'm not getting my hopes up but it is nice to feel like I am actively searching every outlet that I can.
I read so many stories on there while I searched. So many sad stories. So many people searching. I want to share a bio from one i read that really touched my heart.
"My child was conceived on a mansion in Long Island, NY. I was attending a party with some older friends and the mother of my child and I met there. She was brought to the party by them. She was not from our town. She was beautiful, petite, strawberry blond hair. I never saw her again until about 10 years later. I saw a picture in a window of a tattoo parlor. On her back was a tattoo of a tiger. She still had the most beautiful strawberry blond hair. I saw her again 10 years later. She saw me and when the man she was with went to the bathroom, she came around to my side of the bar and said, "I had your baby 20 years ago. It was a girl and I gave her up for adoption. My husband doesn't know about it" Then she walked to the other side of the bar. He cmd out and they left. I never saw her again. This was a long time ago and noone remembers her name. I have no children to identify with…. but I do have a daughter. I would love to find her to complete my life and hers. Thank you for your time."
There were so many touching stories like this. I am just so shocked at all the people searching for each other.
The second registry I registered on was Findmyfamily.com. This site was not as easy to use. I registered so all my information is there. I only saw 2 matches for Oklahoma in 1978 and both are not matches to me. The positive thing about this site is I am registered on it so if anyone is looking for me on there, they can find me. I always try to provide as much information as possible, but sometimes this is hard because I don't have much info.
The last place i went was adoptionregistry.com. I was registered with this site in 2006. Every week I get an email of every new entry for oklahoma. I always read these emails and there has never been a match. I went in today and updated my profile and entered a new post. It is a great site because it is broke down by state. This makes it extremely helpful while searching.
I will admit searching adoption registries is very time consuming. After reading through so many you start to feel like an emotional roller coaster. I know in the end when I am reunited with my family it will all be worth it!!
Thank you all who are following me and helping me with your prayers and support. If you want to see my full story you can search baby maybelle on youtube. You can follow Baby Maybelle on instagram or May Belle on Facebook.   Please feel free to share my story. Honestly sharing my story is the only way I have to find my family. So the more who share the better chance I have. Thank you so much!!



Monday, March 24, 2014

DNA Test

One HUGE question that I have always had has been 'what nationalities I am". I am a natural redhead but not a typical redhead. Most redheads are known to be fair complected and burn easy, but I am just the opposite. I am really dark complected and tan easily, rarely burning. My hair is a deep auburn red. It seems to lighten in the summer and darken in the winter. My eyes are a very dark brown. Because of the uniqueness of my hair/skin tone combination I often get asked where I get the red hair and dark skin from and my only reply is "I don't know, I'm adopted.
My 3 daughters are also very curious to know what ethnicity we are. We talk about it often. We like to joke and say that we are hawaiian. This particular joke came about when we noticed that my skin tone matched my daughters American girl doll Kanani's. Kanani is from Hawaii.  It was fun to joke and think that maybe we could be from somewhere amazing like Hawaii.
It doesn't really matter to me what nationality I am. It is the not knowing that is a struggle. I have no heritage to be proud of. No ancestry to research. Nothing to relate to. I can honestly say this part of being abandoned has been a huge struggle. Its a big void with a lot of answered questions.
This is all about to change!! I saw a commercial on the television about Ancestry DNA. The ancestry.com site offers DNA tests. It traces your ethnicity. I was so excited. I went to the site to get more information. The test is $99. That seems like pocket change for finally getting the answers I have so desperately wanted. I knew instantly I wanted to order the test. But first I needed to talk it over with my husband. After telling him what i had found he said "go for it" .
When I went back to the website to order the DNA test kit I noticed something even more amazing! If my DNA matches anyone else who has done a DNA test I will receive their names with my results!!! Can you believe that? Have the answers been here the whole time? Now I know its a long shot of me finding a match. But it is still a shot. I haven't ever had a chance like this before.
I ordered the test last night. I paid extra for the express shipping. It should be here Wednesday. It is a saliva swab test. The only down fall is I won't get the results back for 6-8 weeks. I have waited 35 years, so I think another couple months will be ok.
If I receive names of DNA match or not, I will still finally find out my ethnicity and have a break down of my genetic pattern. I am pretty excited. If you want to know more about the DNA test check it out at ancestry.com. There is a lot of good information there under the DNA tab.
Please help me in my search by sharing my story everywhere you can on all social media outlets. It will only take one person knowing my bio family to help me reunite with them. That one person may be on your friends list. Please join me to in prayer that I will be reunited with my family.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Happy New Year

New Year means new starts? Not really to me. New year just means another day. We should live each day to the fullest not just  a few days or weeks of  the new year. I have to admit though that I could use a redo. It seems like things have been extremely crazy in my life for the past few months. I have learned a lot. Some things maybe I didn't really want to learn. God never said it would be easy. Sometimes life throws us things that we really don't want to deal with, but we have to just keep pressing forward. 
I wish I could tell you that my life has been perfect, but I can't. My struggles, just like yours, are real. 
We all deal with things in life that we would rather not have to handle. When Eve ate the apple she let sin into this world and therefore we battle against principalities of the dark world. Our struggle is real!  How we handle ourselves in the midst of our struggle defines who we are. 
I am the type that hides my feelings inside. I don't want anyone to see the real pain I feel inside. Weakness is not what I want to be described as. I can handle anything that is thrown my way. Ill admit sometimes I want to give up, throw in the towel, say its not worth it. Something inside of me wont ever let me. I'm not a quitter! I am an overcomer!! People tell me all the time that I am so strong. When I hear that my subconscious screams Im not as strong as you think, but I just smile. I guess being strong is a good quality to have, but inside I am not as strong as I appear. I am just private and don't feel the need to share my pain with others. I have never been the type to really share my feelings and thoughts with others. I guess I am afraid if they knew how I really felt or thought they may be scared. lol My thoughts are deep and sometimes dark. The Bible says to take captive your thoughts and think on things that are pure, true and just. Many times throughout the day I remind myself of this.  It is SO important. I refuse to let the enemy win. I have NO idea what God's exact plan for my life is, but I live by faith and I know that God is in control. No matter how crazy my life gets I will continue to press forward to the prize. My life may not be everything that I want it to be, but I trust that God knows what he is doing. 
2013 showed me alot of things. I learned ALOT! Mostly who I can and can not trust. I learned that most people in my life are untrustworthy. I learned that people who say they are your friends doesn't mean they really are. I learned that most people in my life are my husbands friends not mine. I am thankful for the few people that are actually my friends. I learned that it doesn't matter the quantity of friends you have but the quality. I have very few people in my life that will stand by my side through thick and thin, but I am so thankful for the ones I have. We all just get one chance at this game called life. We all need to learn to live it to the fullest. 2013 was one of the hardest years of my life. When I look back on it, I still can't believe some of the things that happened. Its often hard for me to move on. I can forgive but no matter how hard I try I cant forget. So I hide it inside and deal with it in private. I can say I will be dealing with some of this stuff for a long time. I am still not sure why some of these things happened and I am completely heartbroken by most of it. But my past is not my future!! 
2014 has a whole new focus! I will be focused on finding my family. I NEED them. I WANT them. No matter what life throws in my way  I will not loose my focus. This is a new season. A season I haven't traveled yet. I am excited. Whatever God has planned for me in 2014 I am ready!! I will never forget what 2013 taught me, but I will look for blessings in 2014 and I pray that you will too!!